Look at you smiling, perfect in every way,
You always know just what to do, the right thing to say,
Seeing you just reminds me,
Of what I am and what I will never be.
-Ryan Mita (age: 15)
"Goodbye" 4: Nelia
Goodbye my love, I know I must go and do my time,
I must be strong and carry on because I did the crime,
I know you're mad, I know you're hurt, I'm sorry for what I've done,
Remember the smiles, remember the laughs, remember the times of fun,
I'm going away, but rest assured I will be back someday,
Reunited with you, my love again, and this is what I pray,
But for now, I know I must, learn to let you go,
You have so much life to live, so much love to give, this much is what I know,
What we had was real, as pure as gold, what we had was true,
But asking you to do my time with me is something I cannot expect of you,
I've made mistakes, but to lose years, it just seems so unfair,
But I did the crime, I'll do the time, this is my cross to bear,
I'm told that I'll move on, and find someone, and that time heals all wounds,
But I'm afraid to be alone, I fear my life is doomed,
Believe me when I say "I will become a better man",
But you may fall in love again, this much I understand,
And if by chance, in the time I'm gone, you fall for someone new,
At least I'll know, in my heart, that what we had was true,
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
But I hope you still care enough to answer when I call,
I hope that one day you will return back to my side,
But I'm afraid I've lost you forever, I'm afraid you'll run and hide,
I only pray that your love for me does not fade into the past,
And if you're there when I get out, this time I'll make it last,
Tonight I lay my head down, and tonight we are apart,
But I know no matter what happens, I'll always be in your heart,
So goodbye my love, today I must go and do my time,
I just pray that someday your heart will once again be mine.
-Ryan Mita 5/22/08
"Tomorrow" 4: Nelia
Tomorrow is full of uncertainty and sorrow in it's path,
Life alone, without you here must be God's great wrath,
Tomorrow is another day, to realize that I'm alone,
Another day to realize that you might not come home,
Tomorrow I will wonder who's with you when you when you sleep,
It's enough to make me go insane, it's enough to make me weep,
Tomorrow and everyday afterwards I must come to accept,
That you're no longer mine to hold, you're not mine to protect,
Tomorrow I will resent you and hate you for what you've done,
Cause you said you'd marry me, you said you'd bear my son,
Tomorrow I will dream of us and all the times we shared,
And wake up and turn my head to see that you're not there,
Tomorrow you may go out and fall for some new man,
I'm trying so hard to let you go, I'm doing the best I can,
But I'm heartbroken cause I'm afraid your love for me is no more,
I fear You've given up, I fear you've closed that door,
Tomorrow I can only hope to get a letter from your soul,
That says something to heal this pain, something to close this hole,
Tomorrow this wish may never come, I fear that this is true,
Have I really lost you Nelia? Have I really lost you too,
Tomorrow I will learn to accept the cards that I was dealt,
Cause I know what we had was real, I know what I FELT,
Tomorrow I will wake with a 2nd wind, a chance to build a new,
A chance to love, live, and forgive, like the love I had with you.
-Ryan Mita 5/23/08
"When Your First Love Falls" 4: Nelia
When your first love falls your whole life changes,
You're dropped into a new unfamiliar world all alone,
When your first love falls you question God,
You hate him for taking it all away,
When your first love falls you can't accept that it's through,
You think "We've done this before", but this time it's different and you know it,
When your first love falls you realize all the things you did wrong and regret the past,
You beg and plead to rewind time so you can change the hurt you've caused them, but you can't,
When your first love falls, you just expect it to be different,
You figure that you wouldn't still be in love with the person,
When your first love falls you wonder if they feel what you feel,
Cause maybe if they do there's a way to save what's left,
When your first love falls you blame them for letting you go,
How could forever end so soon?
When your first love falls you see the things you took for granted,
You start to appreciate all those little things that you are going to miss about them,
When your first love falls you wonder who will take your place,
Just picturing them with someone else shatters your already broken heart,
When your first love falls you don't think you can go on,
What's the point of life when you lived only for them?
When your first love falls you reluctantly submit to reality,
They're gone and moving on with their life, and you are no longer in it,
When your first love falls your spirit dies inside of you,
You're in denial but you know what you never thought would happen is happening and your soul just collapses,
When your first love fell did you feel all of this too?
And if so, I ask you "HOW DO I GET THROUGH??!!!"
-Ryan Mita 6/10/08
"My Peace Of Mind" 4: Nelia
I gave you my heart and gave you my soul,
I trusted in you that your love was whole,
I committed my life and committed my mind,
I trusted that you wouldn't leave me behind,
I loved you for you, despite all your flaws,
But I didn't know you could break all love's laws,
I gave you the ring and you said that you would,
And you hurt me in the worst ways that you could,
I dedicated my body to noone but you,
I expected the same but you were untrue,
I believed in your love when no one else did,
Then I was made to look like a kid,
I believed when you told me you loved me too,
But now I wonder how many guys did you screw?
You betrayed my heart and betrayed my trust,
How could you help them find where I was?
I lived for you and you alone,
But now I see that your heart is a stone,
I loved you through all of the lows and all of the highs,
Now my life is ruined because of your lies,
I was blinded by love but now I can see,
You could not be in love and do that to me,
One day you'll see and regret what you've done,
But I won't come back to bear you a son,
I was a fool for loving something like you,
You have no idea of the pain I've been through,
But I know in my heart that someday YOU'LL find,
Someone else who is bred of your kind!
-Ryan Mita 6/23/08
"The Girl I Met The Other Day" 4: Cassie
I met this girl the other day,
A girl who took my breath away,
And through her eyes I saw her soul,
It's beautiful, but is not whole,
And in my mind I tried to find,
A way for her to see her "shine",
To open her eyes to what I saw,
And somehow get her heart to thaw,
She hides behind the masks of a clown,
Anything just to hide that frown,
She hates herself but does not know why,
She's in so much pain it makes me cry,
For if she could only see what I see,
She could finally let go and be free,
We could live a life of happiness and love,
A life that's blessed from God above,
But in my disdain I wake to see,
She must first love herself before she can me,
I have given and given and bared my soul,
But her self hatred has taken its toll
I met this girl the other day,
A girl who took my breath away...forever.
-Ryan Mita 2/14/13
"A Friend"
I'm surrounded by people but I'm still alone,
Everyone else's hearts are like stone,
We all use one another for our own selfish gain,
But noone is there when one is in pain,
Is there such a thing as a friend, a brother, a pal?
Or even one that exists in a gal?
Someone I don't have to count money with,
Someone who's presence is a love and a gift,
I have yet to find a friend like that,
A friend that won't stab me in the back,
But still I will continue to search and explore,
For anyone else who is searching for more...
-Ryan Mita (age: 15)
"A Brother" 4:Kyle
This morning I woke with the strength of a new man,
There's noone else that can do what we can,
I found my brother beyond my blood,
It was not in vain, this trudge through the mud,
You share my spirit and I share your heart,
Never again will you be left in the dark,
And if there be pain just know I'll be there,
Just know in your heart that someone does care,
You were my friend when I was alone,
You believed in me when my heart was a stone,
Believe in yourself and do not be afraid,
And remember life is the choices we made,
Believe in yourself, believe in your heart,
And NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU BE LEFT IN THE DARK,
Because of you I will cease to search and explore,
But welcome anyone who is searching for more...
-Ryan Mita 5/11/14
"Revelations"
My mind it burns up energy as fast as light-speed,
Soaking up all knowledge some would call it greed,
Intrigued by truth and wisdom by learning who people are,
Only to find out that we're all unique stars,
How much I wish to learn every snowflake that you made,
But if it is to be it is my life that I must trade,
The beauty of this art is almost too intense to take,
It sends quivers through my soul just like an earthquake,
To sacrifice everything I am, but somehow still remain myself,
Is the meaning of life and the definition of real wealth.
-Ryan Mita 5/13/14
"The Beautiful Ironies" 4: Deputy Graham
You fill my life at every turn with wonderment and pain,
But it's all perception I see now, as I see sunshine through the rain,
These tears that flowed forever now a desert from the drought,
Now it's only love since I found out what life's about,
So take your best shot cause my spirit won't miss a stride,
But part of me knows the power you hold and wants to run and hide,
I've overcome adversity there was no life as hard as mine,
So I hope the taste of irony ages just like wine,
And for all the good-hearted souls that get hurt along the way,
My heart will weep forever for the sacrifice you made.
-Ryan Mita 5/12/14
"Why Must You Deny Me" 4: My Parents
Since I was a child you guided me with care,
Never discriminating, you always did things fair,
But when I seeked identity and tried to become my own,
You shut me out your hearts and in turn, mine became a stone,
You cared for me through 3rd parties, you thought that they knew best,
They became my parents when you pushed me out the nest,
So I return to institutions cause it's the only thing I know,
Since the age of 12, they're the ones that have made me grow,
How easily we forget how you've ruled with an iron fist,
How easily we forget about the boy you used to kiss,
And now that I've finally found myself and want to love you so,
You've shut me out completely and God's telling me I must go,
These tears fill up my almond eyes and fall slowly down my cheek,
Inside I'm still a little boy, deep down I'm still so weak,
But I sigh with sorrow I know I must carry on,
And I know inside my heart that you'll love me when I'm gone,
And as I travel through this journey we call life,
I'll see your faces in my head and wonder....why must you deny me?
-Ryan Mita 5/15/14
"Why Is Justice Blind?" 4: The Idaho Justice System
Excuse me, but why is the lady Justice blind?
She wears a blindfold to work, I don't think she's of sound mind,
All she does is gossip and spread rumors with her friends,
Somewhere in her past a man must have failed to make amends,
She holds scales but can't see that the balance is off,
When I told her I was innocent all she did was scoff,
Her best friend is lady Liberty, but Liberty needs glasses,
Her interests are no longer for the poor, no longer for the masses,
They say there is no fury like a woman scorn, but these girls take the cake,
Cause liberty's no longer free and the justice system's fake,
Now I'm not saying men are perfect and ladies you know I ain't,
But some of ya'll are bitches cause I damn sure ain't no saint!
Ryan Mita 5/11/14
"Before I Leave This Earth" 4: The Convicts
Please God grant me this wish before I leave this Earth,
That each of my fellow man knows the beauty of their worth,
We're bound by chains and shackles, the weight holds down our souls,
The pain becomes so much to bear that we opt to forget our goals,
We're taught that our hearts must be as calloused as a stone,
That we choose to venture through this life afraid, cold, and alone,
But our hearts are so very fragile that they wear transparent skin,
That is bound to blow away with just the whisper of a wind,
But they can learn to fly again, these birds with broken wings,
They deserve tranquility, they deserve the throne of kings,
So please God grant me this wish before I leave this Earth,
That each of my fellow man knows the beauty of their worth...
Ryan Mita 5/11/14
"Soul Mates" 4:My Soulmate
I know your heart beats out there, under the stars above,
A reflection of my soul, a reflection of true love,
These opposing energies, your heart and mine,
When combined together, produces the most brilliant shine,
This Yin and Yang between our souls is unique in its design,
And will only fit together with the other of its kind,
To know that you exist out there somewhere under the blanket of our sky,
Has my heart frustrated and my mind asking God "Why?"
When I'm separated from my other half, then how can I be whole?
How can I accomplish this great task, without the other half to my soul,
Will I know you when I see you? Would your heart notice mine?
Could our love blossom like a lotus flower before the ending of my time?
All these questions remain unknown, but I choose to believe,
But I must ask these questions before the belief can be conceived.
Ryan Mita 9/24/14
"Take Me Away"
Please take me away from this life full of pain,
Cause living shouldn't just be existing in shame,
Birthed in a fire and forged out of steel,
Ironic, my downfall is how deeply I feel,
Cold as ice, yet soft as snow,
A battered heart that noone knows,
What I yearn for is what I seek,
And what I search for is what I keep,
Please take me away, deliver me from this place,
Because I can't bear to see the pain on their face,
Please take me away to a place to call home,
To a place where I'll never again be alone,
Take me away...
Ryan Mita 8/29/15
"Untitled" 4: My Creator
I know my purpose now, but still, I am confused,
You must have a sick sense of humor because I know you are amused,
The beauty in this suffering, how it takes my breath away,
I only wish to remain here with you forever and a day,
Outcasted by society because I didn't fit the mold,
Betrayed by those that loved me, because I chose a different road,
Am I good? Am I evil? I am both. I am me,
The moment I embraced this, is when I truly broke free,
Amidst all of the sorrow this young life has known,
I know now, that I was never alone,
The memory of your presence ever since that fateful day,
A love and understanding, that words somehow fail to say,
It can't be known by the mind, mearly glimpsed but not seen,
An intuitive connection, rather, an internal "knowing",
This unity of opposites, the very canvas of our life,
How can one know peace in the absence of great strife?
They say read between the lines to constrict you to their space,
So, I think outside the box for ways to innovate this race,
There is peace within the chaos, like the eye inside a storm,
every single soul has a purpose, even before the day we're born!
-Ryan Mita 9/10/15
"Dyslexic Love" (E-V-O-L) 4: Megan
From the moment I let you know me, I knew there was pain not far ahead,
But I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't hurt, as long as I wasn't misled,
See my heart yearns for experience, while my mind seeks only peace,
And I took a leap of faith on a love I knew to have a lease,
It was foolish to think I could feel this way and not get cut too deep,
You showed through actions how you felt, cause you knew that talk is cheap,
When you peered into my soul you were blinded by the light,
But also glimpsed that a devil resides in a heart as black as night,
Only God knows why you loved me, I am such a damaged soul,
But you saw past my transgressions and loved me for my whole,
Your company was my garden, and your love, the soil where I could grow,
Such a shame that I didn't know how much I loved you, until I let you go,
Things happen the way they're supposed to, and always the way we need,
And if intentions manifests our destiny it's all in which wolf you feed,
Now we're standing here at the fork in the road, 2 souls that merged as one,
And it just seems like such a sin to end this love before it has even begun...
-Ryan Mita 3/11/16
"Take Me Away"
Please take me away from this life full of pain,
Cause living shouldn't just be existing in shame,
Birthed in a fire and forged out of steel,
Ironic, my downfall is how deeply I feel,
Cold as ice, yet soft as snow,
A battered heart that noone knows,
What I yearn for is what I seek,
And what I search for is what I keep,
Please take me away, deliver me from this place,
Because I can't bear to see the pain on their face,
Please take me away to a place to call home,
To a place where I'll never again be alone,
Take me away...
Ryan Mita 8/29/15
"Untitled" 4: My Creator
I know my purpose now, but still, I am confused,
You must have a sick sense of humor because I know you are amused,
The beauty in this suffering, how it takes my breath away,
I only wish to remain here with you forever and a day,
Outcasted by society because I didn't fit the mold,
Betrayed by those that loved me, because I chose a different road,
Am I good? Am I evil? I am both. I am me,
The moment I embraced this, is when I truly broke free,
Amidst all of the sorrow this young life has known,
I know now, that I was never alone,
The memory of your presence ever since that fateful day,
A love and understanding, that words somehow fail to say,
It can't be known by the mind, mearly glimpsed but not seen,
An intuitive connection, rather, an internal "knowing",
This unity of opposites, the very canvas of our life,
How can one know peace in the absence of great strife?
They say read between the lines to constrict you to their space,
So, I think outside the box for ways to innovate this race,
There is peace within the chaos, like the eye inside a storm,
every single soul has a purpose, even before the day we're born!
-Ryan Mita 9/10/15
"Dyslexic Love" (E-V-O-L) 4: Megan
From the moment I let you know me, I knew there was pain not far ahead,
But I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't hurt, as long as I wasn't misled,
See my heart yearns for experience, while my mind seeks only peace,
And I took a leap of faith on a love I knew to have a lease,
It was foolish to think I could feel this way and not get cut too deep,
You showed through actions how you felt, cause you knew that talk is cheap,
When you peered into my soul you were blinded by the light,
But also glimpsed that a devil resides in a heart as black as night,
Only God knows why you loved me, I am such a damaged soul,
But you saw past my transgressions and loved me for my whole,
Your company was my garden, and your love, the soil where I could grow,
Such a shame that I didn't know how much I loved you, until I let you go,
Things happen the way they're supposed to, and always the way we need,
And if intentions manifests our destiny it's all in which wolf you feed,
Now we're standing here at the fork in the road, 2 souls that merged as one,
And it just seems like such a sin to end this love before it has even begun...
-Ryan Mita 3/11/16
"The Greatest Gift I Have Ever Known"
Tell me your greatest fear, so I may come to know the texture of your soul,
Only through your vulnerability can I appreciate its glow,
It's as if we had known each other through many lifetimes long ago,
A recognition of a sudden recollection of the soul,
A union that so effortlessly transcended space and time,
With one who possessed a bright and iridescent shine,
I only wish that I hadn't been so selfish with our time,
Cause I only saw your surface, not the story that lay behind,
Now I am haunted by this romance with a memory of a feeling,
As if my heart has trapped my mind, confined just like a ceiling,
But it's my mind that needs to learn to heal, for my heart has never failed,
And I just know when I reach my end that it's your heart that I held,
So you may be absent from my life, but somehow I never feel alone,
This quiet strength born of weakness, the greatest gift I've ever known...
-Ryan Mita
10/24/16
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